Matthew 6:33

Well well well ... so much for a return to blogging
Told u I wasnt the type who could sit down and just type away.

Its been a healthy yet eventful 5 months since my last post ( or only post)
I never did like the idea of blogging about just things that happen in my life or using my blog as a online diary.
I much rather come up with something meaningful and thought provoking.
But then again that's just me.

I was recently made to think about my life. And I realised how LOST I had become. I can't pinpoint exactly when my life began to lose its meaning. But nonetheless I realised that it had.
And what continues to surprise me is that I knew how to fix it. I knew how to get my life back on track again. But the funny thing about human nature is, we often take the hard way.

I knew that deep down I had backslidden from God. I had drifted away from how i should've lived my life. And yet everytime i thought about how my life was becoming more and more meaningless , i knew that i should just get on my knees and surrender it all. But I didnt. It is funny how human nature is, isn't it. How knowing perfectly well that putting God first was the way to go, i chose to do it my way, the wrong way.

And thus i began to seek stability in my life in all the wrong areas. And nothing did work or help. In fact, everything that i tried only turned out worse. But yet i kept trying, all while knowing that God was waitin for me to go back to him. All while knowing i was making a mistake not going to him. All while knowing that i can't possibly solve this by myself.

And yet there i was living my life without a purpose. I questioned what i was doing with my life. I questioned what the future held. I questioned what would become of me.

It took a moment of madness for me to realise that this aimless and purposeless life had to end. I realised what i had been missing out on in life.
And i finally gave in and surrendered. I gave up basically. Why was i continuing to find my own answers in life when God has them all. When he holds my future and my desires.

And just as how God promised he would never leave us, i was born again.
Amazing how God will always be there for us isnt it.

Since rededicating my life, I have found meaning again. And just as it is written :
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you"

How true is this promise?
it is amazing how once u have set ur life straight with God he rewards you with gifts u could never imagine.
Indeed this verse will become a pillar in my life and hopefully also to whomever reads this.


Not forgetting those who were with me through these tough times with words of encouragement and wisdom.
My friends whom i call brothers and sisters and of course my family for standing by me.

So guess what? I'm back and i'm loving this new lease of life.
Thank God for his promises, his gifts and his never ending faithfulness.

A return?

After close to year of hiatus, there's finally something to read about.
Hence a new blog, a new start. There's no guarantee that this will last either. But why not give it a shot right?

Talk about a long time. So many things happen in a year. New experiences, exciting adventures, bold moves, big saves and of course all the dumb-ass screw ups. Indeed the year had its highs and lows.

Many a time i ask myself whether i made the right the choices, whether i took the right path, could things have turned out even better. Yet i wonder if i did indeed make the right choices. I wouldn’t use the word COULD as the fact is i COULD have but rather SHOULD i have.

Should i have pushed harder?
Should i have even tried?
Should i have made more effort?
Should i have bothered?
Should i have chased further?
Should i have even started the race?
Should i ……

The list could go on. How many times are we faced with a choice to make? i find myself asking if i did make right choices.
Could i have been better off if i had taken the other path?
Do i even want to know how it could have turned out?
Could it have turned out like a movie?
Where the lead gets the girl and lives happily ever after.
Where i stumble upon a windfall.
Indeed where i am now is the result of my choices.
Do i regret them? Maybe.

The truth for us all is that we’ll never know how it would’ve turned out had we gone the other way.
Maybe i would’ve got the girl, stumbled upon gold, found my way and found myself. That’s a huge maybe.
BUT what if i did make the right choices? That what i have before me is what’s best for me.

But am i happy with where i am? Is this it? Who should i be comparing my happiness with?
Is it the children and families stricken with poverty, who struggle to bring food to the table?
Is it the rich and famous that live in mansions and shower themselves with luxury?
If happiness were a scale, wouldn’t i be right down the center?

Wouldn’t i be happier if i could have all my wants and desires? Would you not?
Do we not tend to look at things from a perspective such that things could always be better?
To us the grass is always greener on the other side.

Maybe i should be thankful for what i have now? Not everyone could be where i am. So was i being selfish in my desire for greater things? Is it not true that i am already so blessed? With parents who sacrificed so much for me. They valued me higher than money itself. They invested in a future so uncertain and so volatile. Were they not brave and wise to make such a choice? I should be happy indeed that they have given their all for me. I could only hope that when my time comes to make such decisions, i have that wisdom and vision that they have.

But have I? All this time have i been wise with my decisions? Indeed i do hope things turned out differently. I certainly didn’t get the girl nor did i stumble upon that treasure. But yet i can’t help but think that i did find something else. Something that probably carries more importance.